Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
