He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
