And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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