so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
