I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
