OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
