there was a trapeze. enough said
it was like eating out sand paper
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
