you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
