too bad you live with your parents still
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
