he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
