I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
