Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
