I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
