You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
