Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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