You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
