On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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