I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
