11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
