Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
