so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
