i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You made out with two different species that night
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
