? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize