So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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