i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
