I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
