I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
