Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
