did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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