would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
