Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
