My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
