she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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