I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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