Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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