I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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