Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
