I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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