Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
