She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I have post one night stand depression
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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