real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
