It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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