is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
