And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
