if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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