im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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