How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
