Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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