I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
