did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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