My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
