Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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