I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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