fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
